Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Restless and worrying

For a little while now, I've been feeling a bit restless. I'm not even sure that restless is the right word, but I can't think of any other so I guess that will do. I think its because I know that soon everything will be changing. And because its my nature, that also means I'm worrying. 

I feel like I have so much to do and I have so many thoughts whirling through my head but these are the main ones keeping me awake at night:
  • Not wanting to leave E whilst I'm in hospital having the baby. Whilst Nanny and Grandad look after her whilst I'm at work, its always been me and (very occasionally, D) that has put her to bed. Will she settle at night?
  • The birth - general worries about it and the possibility (however unlikely) of another haemorrhage or complications.
  • How will E react when she meets her sister?  Will she be clingy and how will I cope with it?
  • How will I cope with 2 young children?
  • Will I love the new baby as much as E?
  • When I had E I was able to spend a lot of time just snuggling up with her and giving her lots of attention, I worry about not being able to do the same with the baby and, if I'm honest, the thought of not being able to do so makes me feel quite weepy.
  • Potty training - how will I manage with trying to potty train E and looking after a small baby?
  • E is still in our room. I know she 'should' be in her own room by now but I like her being in with us. If it wasn't for the new arrival I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to move her but she'll be moving into her own room soon. I'm worrying about how this will go..
  • Lack of sleep - I'm not great if I don't get enough sleep! In the first few weeks/months with E at least I was able to rest/nap when she did, I won't have this luxury with two.
  • Breastfeeding - will I be able to? How am I going to keep E occupied whilst I'm doing it?
  • Will the baby be early like E? Will I be prepared?
  • Stopping E's bottles and nap times. She has 2 a day - 1 at nap time and another at bed time. I'm aware I need to stop the bottles but she refuses milk out of anything except a bottle. The bedtime bottle isn't an issue, I think she'll be OK to stop that one, its the nap time bottle we will struggle with as she won't usually nap for me without it.
  • Work - how will I fit in working from home. Whilst I work for family and my hours are flexible (i.e. whatever I do), will I manage to do a reasonable amount? Will my in-laws be OK looking after two young children when I return to work?

There's so many thoughts swirling around and most of them are things I have no control over and there is therefore no point in worrying about and this is what I keep telling myself. Some of the others, however, whilst I cannot control, I can be prepared for and so that is what I'm trying to do.

If you have children close in age, how did you cope in those early days? Were you worried or did you take it in your flow?  If you have any tips that you would like to share, I'd really appreciate them!
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3 comments

  1. My two are 16months apart in age. I'm not going to lie and say those first few weeks are easy but they were no where near as hard as I thought they would be. My husband had to go back to work two days later. I had help from family when I could - they all work full time tbough. preparation is the key - sort out clothes the night before, slow cooker for meals etc, and keep calm! My two are now 2.5 and 14 months and I love the small age gap - they're best friends and believe me it was easier than I thought!

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  2. Our kids are 6, 4 and 2, and I think we just accepted that we would plan the big stuff (logistics of what to do with other kids etc) and muddle through the little stuff, on the basis that for every little thing we inevitably got wrong/forgot/whatever, we would get one big thing right. I know that deep down we both wanted things to be perfect, but having been through it all once/twice before we realised that it doesn't really matter - all that matters is the baby arriving safely and everything else is a bonus.

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  3. my kids are all around 2 years apart, I was always a believer of take things as they come, you have no way of knowing what will happen so it is better to have the attitude of what will be will be. saying that I am still up on a nightly basis worrying about one thing or another, I think it is just a natural part of beng a parent, worrying shows we care :) #archiveday

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