35 Weeks

Oh my! 35 weeks! It feels like my due date is hurtling towards me. 
Yesterday I had my 34 week scan followed by an appointment with the Consultant. The scan went well, we were relieved to see that she is the right way down and although they couldn't tell me whether her head was engaged, from the scan, they could see she was low down. I suspected that she was as since last Saturday I've felt different - my bump looks and feels lower and its felt a lot easier to get around, although that's not to say I've not still woken up with the aches and pains and feeling like a grumpy old woman!
I have an appointment with the midwife next week. Provided baby is still in the right position I won't need another scan.
My appointment with the Consultant took my by surprise. Very little was said about how things were currently but he did discuss, in detail, my haemorrhage and E's birth. Following my appointment with the anaesthetist, he had written to the Consultant making him aware of my concerns. I came away from it feeling somewhat relieved and very drained. We went through times and events noted on my file in detail and he answered everything as best he can. Overall he felt that clinically they did everything correctly and they would do the same again, should it happen. He understood my concerns at not having been listened to and the feeling that I was being a nuisance etc and apologised. He said that they should have listened to me and taken more time to reassure me and D and to explain what was happening.  He also told me that a haemorrhage within 24 hours of delivering is very common but one 10 days later is much rarer and so it might have thrown them somewhat (reassuring!). I must admit that I could have done without hearing what the mortality rate is from this type of haemorrhage but thankfully it was a very small amount!
I've been given strict instructions to make sure that all the Midwives and Doctors know about the haemorrhage when I go into labour, telling me that its my body and I'm the one at risk of suffering. He's also assured me that its prominently displayed on my notes so that's reassured me a little. I think there will always be some anxiety there - different consultants and midwives have said differently. Some have said its very unlikely to happen again, others have said it is because its happened previously. I guess we just have to wait and see and hope for the best.
So now its just a waiting game. 5 weeks to go! Or 1 and a half if she's early like E. Is it wrong that I'm (not so) secretly crossing my fingers and hoping she's early?!

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