Monday, 5 January 2015

2014, The year of acceptance

In 2013, whilst pregnant with T and following more tears and heartache I decided it was time to close the door on a relationship. Despite being mostly one sided and with sporadic contact and not even knowing where they were for several years it was one I tried my best to continue. Cross words would be written for we didn't speak by phone and months (and years) would pass before I would attempt to reach out again, only to be greeted by disappointment.



Found on Pinterest, pinned from here


There comes a time when there is only so much you can do. There is only so much you can say. When you try your hardest to be what that person wants and yet nothing is ever enough and everything becomes twisted. Enough.

2013 was the year I decided enough was enough and in some ways I grieved. This was the one person who I should have always been able to rely upon, who should have been there to support me and fight my battles. I should have been able to look to them to love me and be there for me, no matter what. The turning point was E. Not to want to meet her or send a congratulations card, no birthday cards or even asking after her. Not wanting to see me after being so ill following the birth. No wedding card or acknowledgement of T. Its one thing to ignore me but with everything combined and for it to be turned back to me being at fault? Enough is enough.

2014 was the year I accepted this is how it will be from here on in. They will never be the person I want them to be, they don't know how to be and even if they were to try, its too late. Too much has been said, too much time has passed. Since deciding to accept the situation for what it is, its like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Their emails have been deleted as has their number from my phone. That's it. Its done.

And whilst they aren't in my life and I've missed out on their input at the most important times in my life and E and T will never know what this person should and could have been to them, its OK. We aren't the ones missing out. And I think I'm finally at peace with that.

This post was inspired by Lauren's post '2014... The Year of Family'. Do pop over and have a read.


Linking up with: 

Mami 2 Five

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5 comments

  1. This is a sad but powerful post and I hope you that you have made the right decision. Sometimes people don't deserve to be in your life. Wishing you a really happy 2015. xx

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    1. Thank you Katie. Wishing you and your family a fab 2015 xx

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  2. This is such a brave post to write and I know exactly how you feel.
    Your attitude is totally how it should be. It's so hard and the grieving process surprised me and has taken a lot longer than I thought.
    Well done for finding acceptance x

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    1. It took me a very long time to realise that this was how it would be, that's not to say its always easy. It isn't. Always happy to chat if you want to lovely xx

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  3. This brought a few tears to my eyes... I'm so sorry you had to experience this but it looks as if the healing has started and writing about it always helps! Lots of love, Christine via #sundaystars

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