Monday, 5 January 2015

2014, The year of acceptance

In 2013, whilst pregnant with T and following more tears and heartache I decided it was time to close the door on a relationship. Despite being mostly one sided and with sporadic contact and not even knowing where they were for several years it was one I tried my best to continue. Cross words would be written for we didn't speak by phone and months (and years) would pass before I would attempt to reach out again, only to be greeted by disappointment.



Found on Pinterest, pinned from here


There comes a time when there is only so much you can do. There is only so much you can say. When you try your hardest to be what that person wants and yet nothing is ever enough and everything becomes twisted. Enough.

2013 was the year I decided enough was enough and in some ways I grieved. This was the one person who I should have always been able to rely upon, who should have been there to support me and fight my battles. I should have been able to look to them to love me and be there for me, no matter what. The turning point was E. Not to want to meet her or send a congratulations card, no birthday cards or even asking after her. Not wanting to see me after being so ill following the birth. No wedding card or acknowledgement of T. Its one thing to ignore me but with everything combined and for it to be turned back to me being at fault? Enough is enough.

2014 was the year I accepted this is how it will be from here on in. They will never be the person I want them to be, they don't know how to be and even if they were to try, its too late. Too much has been said, too much time has passed. Since deciding to accept the situation for what it is, its like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Their emails have been deleted as has their number from my phone. That's it. Its done.

And whilst they aren't in my life and I've missed out on their input at the most important times in my life and E and T will never know what this person should and could have been to them, its OK. We aren't the ones missing out. And I think I'm finally at peace with that.

This post was inspired by Lauren's post '2014... The Year of Family'. Do pop over and have a read.


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16 comments

  1. This is a sad but powerful post and I hope you that you have made the right decision. Sometimes people don't deserve to be in your life. Wishing you a really happy 2015. xx

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    1. Thank you Katie. Wishing you and your family a fab 2015 xx

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  2. This is such a brave post to write and I know exactly how you feel.
    Your attitude is totally how it should be. It's so hard and the grieving process surprised me and has taken a lot longer than I thought.
    Well done for finding acceptance x

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    1. It took me a very long time to realise that this was how it would be, that's not to say its always easy. It isn't. Always happy to chat if you want to lovely xx

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  3. This brought a few tears to my eyes... I'm so sorry you had to experience this but it looks as if the healing has started and writing about it always helps! Lots of love, Christine via #sundaystars

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  4. I'm glad you're feeling at peace, I don't understand how a dad couldn't want to be in the life of their amazing child, but they are definitely the one missing out

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  5. I understand this completely, it is so hard to let go of something you want to work, but you don't always have the power to make it work and acceptance can be best. #TwinklyTuesday

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  6. Sometimes people just don’t deserve to be in your life. If you’ve done all you can there is nothing more to say on your part. It is good that you are at peace with it.

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  7. I agree with your post. I am who I am. Done with toxic people. Love me for who I am or move on!! I am not going to change. #twinklytuesday
    Tracy www.viewfromthebeachchair.com

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  8. It is sad when things end but now will be your time to grow and move forward X #twinklytuesday

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  9. Beautiful, powerful and poignant. I struggle to let people go but am learning that it is wise to me. Exhausted sometimes at the efforts I put in for little or no rewards. You have made me think and perhaps change too so thank you #TwinklyTuesday

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  10. Toxic relationships are never good and sometimes the best way to move forward and let go is to forget x #TwinklyTuesday x

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  11. Such a touching post. And you made the right decision which I'm sure took a lot of courage when you decided to end it but that is life #TwinklyTuesday

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  12. I think you've made the right decision. You have tried all you can so have nothing to reproach yourself for. It must have taken a lot of strength to accept the way things are and I'm sure you must feel happier and lighter for doing so. Good on you! #twinklytuesday

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  13. What a heartfelt, profound post. There is no place in life for drama and toxicity, only love and kindness. I’m glad you made peace with your decision all those years ago. Do you still feel the same now? #TwinklyTuesday

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