The Things I think about watching Fireman Sam

There's a saying I've seen being banded around a lot recently, something along the lines of how easy it is to parent before you actually have children. We think we know exactly what we will do and how until the child is here and you have to deal with the reality. For me, I was certain that I didn't want our children watching too much TV and I had grand ideas of everything I would do with them each day.  Now I look back and laugh at just how naive I was. Some days, when the kids have had you up all night or you're just fighting to get through the day, popping the TV on so you can have a hot coffee is the only way.  That said, I think we've perhaps been watching too much Fireman Sam as recently I've been paying way too much attention to it. What I want to know is: 

How does Dilys keep the shop open when there's never any customers in?

Is Pontypandy the most dangerous place to live in Wales?

How did Elvis ever become a fireman?

Why are there so few firemen there and how can they all go to the same jobs? 

Does Station Officer Steele actually do anything?

Will Trevor and Dilys ever get it on?

Why is Norman still allowed out on his own with all the fires he starts? Why aren't social services involved?

Why does Fireman Sam always have to play the hero? Does anyone else get to taste the glory?

How many times has Penny come close to thumping Sam one for telling her how to do her job?

How many times are they going to rescue Lion before they decide they're wasting their time?

Does anyone else actually live in Pontypandy? With no cars or pedestrians is it a ghost town?

Do the kids ever go to school?

Why doesn't Trevor pay more attention when he's driving the bus?  

The most important question though? Is Norman Sam's secret love child? Fellow red-heads, and never a mention of any Dad?

Gah. I really need to get out more! 

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