Reconnecting With Your Children

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Once the kids start going to school we lose a little bit of control. That isn’t always a bad thing. Our children need to develop their own personalities and have a degree of independence. So whilst it may be hard on you, don’t fight it.  You have spent so long teaching them to fly, now it’s time to encourage them.

Of course, it can be hard to keep an eye on things if they are constantly at school, with friends or on social media so you may need to swoop in every now and then just to check things are all OK.  But how do you do that without looking like you are trying to take control?  Giving them freedom is one of the top things you should do for your children.  

A lot of their time is spent in school and as they are surrounded by their friends it is a good way to get to know their personality away from the home.  Whilst this won’t work for some children, you could consider occasionally volunteering.  Classroom assistants or lunchtime supervisors are always needed, just don’t be lingering behind their friends or getting involved in what they are doing.  Helping other children but casting a delicate eye on how they represent you in school may help you understand who they are growing into and you may find you are really impressed.  

Every year children will have a trip.  Whether it is a local venue or something huge like a school trip abroad, they will often look to parents to help.  So why not get involved?  Not only will you get a chance to meet their teachers and build a decent relationship, but you will also be able to see how your son or daughter acts around their mates.  Talk about it to your child before you make any commitments though.  You may push your children away if they think you are checking up on them.

Outside of school, you need to tap into their interests and make the most of those where you can. If they're really into football they'll love it if you take them to watch their favourite team play.  Let a friend come too for some extra brownie points and try not to nag too much.  Get into the surroundings and let your hair down a little.

Finding new passions together will also bring you closer.  If you have never been horse riding then grab up the kids and give it ago, you’ll find loads of opportunities to laugh and for your children to make you proud.  You could try and get into something a bit more extreme like climbing or even abseiling.  There are lots of centres around the country which offer a taste of all kinds of extreme sports.  You may both be out of your comfort zone but this will give you the chance to work as a team.  Sometimes children need to feel they are on an equal playing field to you and this can give them a chance to really show off their abilities.  Let them. Encourage it and enjoy it!

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