Friday Night Out-Out Ramblings


Friday night was the Business Awards. Back in October, nominations opened and along with our marketing manager, I typed up the application and put our business forward for it. We were able to nominate ourselves in three categories and earlier this year, discovered we had been nominated for small business.

Originally, I wasn't meant to be going to the awards.  I was asked to go but tried to wriggle my way out of it, with no luck. I don't talk about it much on here. Or in general, only recently telling a few friends, but as well as having depression, I also struggle with anxiety and have done for quite some time.  I can't remember when it started but a big trigger for me is social events, particularly if I don't know what to expect or who will be there. This was the reasoning for me not going.  I find that if I have an event of occasion where I'm around lots of people, the next day I'm completely wiped out and good for nothing. Almost like a hangover. 

I was going to move around my work days last week so that I still did the same amount of days but in the end, I didn't and took an extra day off, the day of the awards.  Thursday night was a restless one and I woke up pretty much every hour.  I don't know if it was down to anxiety but I was restless, I had the pain in my stomach and I couldn't get comfortable so the plan for Friday was to have a nap early afternoon and then have a pamper before getting myself ready, hopefully keeping myself calm and stress free. As we all know, the best laid plans.... 

Friday morning I was invited out for breakfast with a group of school mums and as I'm usually working I normally have to turn the invite down and felt I should go.  It was nice to catch up and break the morning up.  I had a big breakfast knowing it would fill me up for the day and then I could just have something snacky to eat before heading out. I got home and settled on the sofa with a blanket and Buddy and stayed there for a good 45 minutes before admitting defeat, although Buddy had a lovely sleep! By this point, the lack of sleep had started to catch up with me and I headed upstairs to bed, to see if that would be any better. It wasn't and after a good half an hour or so, I again admitted defeat.  I was starting to feel very anxious by this point and combined with being tired, it wasn't great. I decided to get up and colour my hair, followed by putting it in rollers. As I was doing the rollers, I was struggling with them and got all emotional and decided I wasn't going to go.  Eventually though, I managed to pull myself together and got out of the house.

For the first half an hour or so of arriving, I still felt edgy but as I was stood - and then sat - with everyone from work, I started to relax and ended up enjoying the night.  I did have a slight wobble when I realised we were sharing a table with another business but managed to get myself a seat away from them and soon settled.  



This is the dress I ended up wearing, from Yours Clothing. It was really comfortable and the arm sleeves were the perfect length for me. What I really loved about it though was the top part was beaded and quite heavy and whilst it weighted the dress down, it skimmed over all my lumps and bumps without feeling clingy. I popped a photo on my Facebook page and I think some of my mum friends were surprised to see me in a dress - I'm never out of my jeans!

In the end, it was a really good night.  I was the designated driver and usually as the sober one I would feel awkward but this time, it didn't bother me.  I was, however, more than a little disappointed that after all our hard work and the stress of preparing for it, we didn't win the award. That said, we were one of three finalists out of forty applicants and when we were chatting to our contact, we were told it was really close and should apply again next year. So we will and I'm confident it will be our turn to win!

1 comment

  1. You look beautiful!! Sorry you guys didn't win but I always think it does no harm to get your name out there and you certainly can't win if you don;t put your name in the hat!!

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