Why I find Father's Day Difficult


I have a confession to make and that is that I find Father's Day somewhat difficult.  

We always mark it, obviously as its a day for D. The girls are excited to give him the presents they've chosen at school and the present they've got him with me and they want to see his reaction to their handmade cards.  But for me, I find it a difficult day as it just reminds me how lucky they are to have such a great dad that adores them when I don't.  

In 2015, I shared a post about accepting the fact that it was time to close the door on a relationship that would never be what I wanted it to be.  That relationship was with my father. 

These days I rarely think of him but Father's Day is a difficult one.  Not particularly because I think of or miss him, but because I miss the idea of him, or rather the idea of having a Dad. Someone to rely on. A dad that does all those things you see and hear people talking about, particularly on Father's Day when they choose to publicly sing their praises and share their gratitude.  

Instead of singing his praises, I spent the day, as I have spent many previous Father's Days, soaking up my little family and reminding myself of the following: 

  • I am not a bad daughter.  By closing the door, I have protected myself and the most important things in my life, my children.  They are none the wiser, I genuinely cannot remember them ever asking about whether I have a Dad or not and I hope it stays that was for as long as possible. 
  • My experience with him has shown me the qualities and people I don't want in my life.  
  • He doesn't care about how I think or feel about anything in life, so why should I do the same of him?
  • Good has come out of this in that I have two great siblings and their Mum, who was once my Stepmum.

Closing the door on a chapter of your life can be a difficult decision but for me, the right one. 


11 comments

  1. I'm with you. Father's Day is complicated, and so often daughters go to the greeting card displays and come away empty handed and sad.

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  2. Ah, I can see why Father's Day is a tricky one for you. I find it tricky, hassling my kids to do something for their dad now that school no longer prompts them, while missing my own who is no longer with us. Frankly I'd be happy to scrap Father's Day and Mother's Day all together! #Twinklytuesday

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    1. Yes, school definitely makes it easier! I always think it feels so forced, we should be appreciative every day, not just on one when we're told to!

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  3. Hugs I don't have contact with my dad and know how you feel X #twinklytuesday

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    1. Sorry to hear that, sending hugs to you too x

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  4. It's only natural you'd think of it more on Father's Day but I firmly believe if someone is bad for you then they are bad for your kids and that closing the door to them is best all round, it's a decision taken lightly but it can make life so much better. #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Thanks lovely, you are absolutely right x

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  5. So important to be real and true as you are here. You made me realise at a very challenging time for me right now how very lucky I was to have my own Dad. He adopted me but was absolutely my real dad because it is love and support and listening and being there that makes a dad. Well done you for setting your own boundaries with your father #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. How lucky you were to have a Dad that chose you. You're quite right that love and support and just being there are what makes a Dad. Sorry things are tough for you, I do hope it gets easier for you x

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  6. What a poignant post. I love the way you still manage to look at the positives that have come out of a bad situation. So sorry my comments are a week late, been so very busy! #TwinklyTuesday

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