Road Trip

Tomorrow, the girls and I are heading off on a road trip.  D will be staying at home as he's looking after Buddy and our cats. We are heading off to my hometown, to see my Mum and I am feeling more than a little anxious at the prospect of it. We've been out for the last couple of days and I'm feeling the effects.  The journey is a 300-mile round trip, travelling there on Saturday and returning home Sunday. On a good day, it will take 3-4 hours. 

It's silly really as its a journey I used to do twice a month, travelling down on a Friday and returning on Sunday but it is one that I have only done a couple of times since having the girls.  My Mum usually comes to us because, quite honestly, it's easier. She has retired and its usually just her or her and her husband to organise and she stays here. Whereas if the four of us go to her, we need to plan around work and school, find a hotel, arrange for someone to look after the dog, cats, sheep, chickens and geese. Not forgetting the ton of stuff we need to pack.  

This is the first time I've done the journey on my own, with the girls.  Its the first time they will have spent the night away from D and initially they didn't want to go but they have now come round to the idea.  I've raved about it but inside I'm a bundle of nerves.   My hometown is a big town in comparison to where we live.  I'm feeling extremely anxious about driving that far and how busy the roads will be.  My Mum lives in a reasonably old part of town with streets tightly packed with cars and I drive a large people carrier - it used to be a nightmare to drive down in my old Ford Focus! I'm even worrying about parking up down her road, which is the same.  

(Source - here's hoping the weather is ok for us!)

More than anything, I'm feeling anxious at just how tired I am going to feel.  Driving makes me very tired and I'm not used to driving long distances these days, just pottering about to and from school and work. I don't sleep well away from home and I know we'll be seeing family that I haven't seen for years and that is playing on my mind.  Having to socialise and feeling on guard is a big trigger for me and I know that when it is over with, the fatigue will really kick in. It's as though my body says 'that's it, we can relax' and I shutdown.

For me, I hate waiting for anything.  As that is when I start to get anxious and the problem with anxiety is that I know everything will be fine but my mind still goes through all the what-ifs. What if the girls are really naughty. What if I'm completely exhausted. What if I get in a car accident.  What if I get lost.  What if any of us are unwell.  What if I break down.  But the reality is that all of these scenarios are things I can deal with.  If I'm tired we can stop, I can grab a coffee and if it is really bad, pop the DVDs on for the girls whilst I close my eyes for 10 minutes.  I can go and nap when I get to my Mums.  If the girls are naughty, well, I'll deal with it.   

Wish me luck. I just hope I sleep tonight. 

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