Lockdown Journal : 1 March 2020

I've been keeping a diary throughout the COVID-19 pandemic.  This is the first post I'm sharing and was written on 1st March.

"I am free of worry and regret"
"I wake with a peaceful mind and a grateful heart"

Oh, the irony of the above affirmations. I have been anything but worry-free for days now.  I've been feeling anxious from the moment I wake until I manage to fall asleep. And sleep has been hard. Harder than usual, both falling and staying asleep.  I've been waking in pain and within moments of waking, I feel anxious.  My stomach is in knots, I feel light-headed and dizzy and snappy. And I am so, so tired.

It feels a little daft to be writing it down but last week, I started to become really worried about the Coronavirus.  I think it's because there are so many what-ifs and different facts and figures that are flying around.  I've spoken to a couple of friends and it's only now that people are paying attention to it, yet I know I've been reading about it for weeks. R has as well. She has a friend living in Taiwan who has been updating her about what they are going through and I just can't believe this isn't getting more coverage - he's sent her videos of people collapsing in the streets. Everyone is going out in face masks. 

The thought of any of us getting it, especially the girls, scares me.  We were all so unwell in November with some sort of flu-type bug, the thought of getting something worse than that, I just can't think about it. This week and last week, I started to add a few extra bits to the trolley when doing my shopping.  An extra couple of tins here and there. Some pasta for T, a couple of extra pizzas for E. Luckily I have lots of Zoflora (we won a giveaway a few months ago) and I've got a couple of extra packets of paracetamol and ibuprofen for both us and the girls. I usually keep these in any way, I've just been lax at remembering to top up.  I also managed to get three small hand sanitisers - one for in each of the girl's school bags ad one for in my car.

D and I have spoken to the girls about the importance of washing their hands properly and regularly and they seem to have taken it on board.

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